CHAPTER 1 The city has that scent in the air, like it’s going to snow. I walk down the street and wrap my arms tighter around my middle. The sidewalks have an inky sheen. It’s been misting. Car horns blare as I breathe in the exhaust and try to fathom what happened, but I don’t know. I can’t grasp it. The look on Sean’s face, the way his voice sounded… My stomach twists like I’m going to be sick. I gave him my heart and he fucking returned me—like I was broken. Like he didn’t want me. Maybe throwing all the cash at Sean was stupid, but I had to do it. I don’t turn back. I don’t look behind me. I already know Sean isn’t there. He doesn’t love me. As I walk along the sidewalk in a daze, a car rolls up next to me. It’s late. I don’t notice at first. It isn’t until the window rolls down and I hear a voice that I turn and glance at the car. The wind whips my hair, sending the strands flying every which way. My heels are in my hand. I’m walking along wearing nothing on my feet but stockings. The cold ground burns through the silk. It’s one of the only things I can feel in the storm of pain. It’s consuming me, swallowing me whole. This is why I had no relationships.