Prologue 1: Secrets Once upon a time, the devil was bored, and possessed a not-very-nice pregnant woman, and ran that woman's body for about a year. The devil still drank and smoked, but only in moderation. The devil was good about taking prenatal pills but grumbled about the inevitable constipation. And eventually, the devil gave birth to a baby girl. After a month of diapers, night feedings, colic, laundry, spilled formula (the devil hated to breast-feed), and spit-up, the devil said, "Enough of this," and went back to Hell, which was infinitely preferable to living with a newborn. The devil's daughter was adopted and grew up in a suburb of Minneapolis, Minnesota. Her name was Laura, and she liked strawberry ice cream, and she never, ever missed church. She was a very nice young lady. But she had a terrible temper. Prologue 2: Problems Thunderbird Motel Bloomington, Minnesota 8:57 p.m. "Okay, guys, let's set up here... Charley, you okay here? You got light?" Her cameraman looked up. "It's shitty out here. Should be better inside." "We won't film out here... we'll go inside the conference room. So, you're sure this is okay?" The representative, who was smooth and sweatless like an egg, clasped his hands together and nodded slowly. Even his suit seemed to be free of threads or seams. "People need to see that it's not a bunch of chain-smoking losers who are afraid to