Archived audio files of Elizabeth, the One, Queen of the Vampires, circa 2010 Okay, so, here are various yucky excerpts from the Book of the Dead. Gawd, I hate that thing. "The Queene's sister shalt be Belov'd of the Morningstar, and shalt take the Worlde." That'd be my sister, Laura. She's a great kid-a college student at the U of M. Also, she's the Antichrist. "And the Queene shall noe the dead, all the dead, and neither shall they hide from her nor keep secrets from her." Yeah. That fun tidbit translated to, "Zombies will lurk in your basement, and ghosts will follow you around and bitch. Lots." "... and the Morningstar shalt appear before her own chylde, shalt help with the taking of the Worlde, and shalt appear before the Queene in all the raiments of the dark," This? I have no idea. Could be the end of the world, could be a visit from Boy Scouts selling wreaths. And it's maddening, really maddening, because I can't read too much of this fucking horrible tome from hell (probably literally from hell) in one sitting because I go crazy. Anyone who reads it for too long at a time goes crazy. Also? I can't get rid of the damned thing. It finds me. It always finds me, sometimes via the nefarious operators of the United Parcel Service. As Ferris Bueller put it, "How's that for being born under a bad sign?"