Chapter 1 "So, if I'm reading this correctly, you're a vampire now. Not a secretary." "Not an administrative assistant," I corrected automatically. I mean, jeez! I knew Cooper was old and creaky, but what century did he think we were living in? (Or in my case, dying in and then reliving?) "The important bit," Cooper went on, "is about the vampire." "Well, yeah." "And how you're the queen of them." I sighed and flopped into an airplane seat. I examined the toes of my navy blue Cole Haan Penny Air Loafers . . . not a scratch so far. "I guess some people would consider that an important point. The queen thing." "It's bulleted and boldfaced. Also, the date of your death is in italics, along with how you don't have to urinate anymore." "My pee or the lack thereof is nobody's business!" I gnashed my teeth and added, "Give me that." I snatched the memo away from Cooper so quickly, he didn't see my hand move until his wrinkly fingers were clutching air. This startled him into a gasp, which we then both pretended I hadn't heard. That, I was learning, was vampire etiquette. Or, that is, vampire etiquette when dealing with humans. I'd finally figured it out after three years of being undead. There should be a class, you know. Vampire Etiquette When Dealing with Humans 101. In another fifty years, I could teach the stupid thing.